let me set the stage. I worked 16 out of the last 24 hours. that means I worked days today. after working last night. no problem for me but I have animals. too many animals. and this disrupted their schedule apparently. everybody had food and water; all the necessities. but when I got home with my c10 combination dinner...
all I wanted to do was let the dogs out and spend some time under the majic oak tree, which I did. after paying homage to the various felines. let the dogs run for a while as I communed with nature and quieted my mind. it was such a lovely quiet evening. the heat had gone from the day. it wasn't dark yet. just about dusk.
me and the dogs are hanging out; nice night. the eddie Haskell cat is trying to open the door but he doesn't know the secret. minut kitty knows how to do it. start low. he is trying to do it from the handle like he sees me do it. and hollering the whole time. he's a teenager and thinks he is invincible.
finally I give it up and go inside. I am just about on my last legs and I am starving. I know I have major Chinese food waiting on me. it's about 9 and I haven't eaten since about 4 this morning. that was shrimp chili rellejonos. yum.
I walk inside and start fixing my food. all of a sudden I realize that all but 2 of the cats are perched on various raised surfaces in and around my kitchen, and they are all meowing at me. and looking at me funny. all I could think of was alfred Hitchcock's the birds. but it was cats. kinda scary. I ain't gonna lie. it was kind of surreally weird.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Saturday, December 26, 2015
i wish i knew
in the last two weeks i wish i knew...how many hours i have spent on my feet, how many steps i have taken, how many miles i have walked, how many cases of beer i have stocked, how many hours i have worked. right now i hurt from my shoulders to my toes. it's been a long haul but worth it. i think and hope everyone had a merry christmas.
jimbo and i spent ours under the majic oak tree about 5 o'clock this morning. he was djing with his new speaker.
i hope i didn't run anyone off or discourage anyone last night after kim and holly's party. apparently one of the day girls likes to make up stories. this is the second time in a week i have heard one she told other people about me. yeah. i don't like that. and the other day girl likes to think she is number 2. we have a number 1 and it ain't me
normally i don't voice my true opinion. or i do and it makes no difference. for the most part people don't listen to me. i'm the bartender. unless you want something i am virtually invisible. i have learned to suppress my ego (most of the time) in a public situation but i have also learned to pay attention and read people. each person communicates differently
i like to think i try to reach people on their own level rather than coming at them from my brain. when i do that they very often have a slightly confused grin on their face. but when i truly listen and empathize with them, it makes a difference to them and maybe that's why i'm here
i don't know if most bartenders are like this but after i get off work i am as emotionally as well as mentally and physically tired.
jimbo and i spent ours under the majic oak tree about 5 o'clock this morning. he was djing with his new speaker.
i hope i didn't run anyone off or discourage anyone last night after kim and holly's party. apparently one of the day girls likes to make up stories. this is the second time in a week i have heard one she told other people about me. yeah. i don't like that. and the other day girl likes to think she is number 2. we have a number 1 and it ain't me
normally i don't voice my true opinion. or i do and it makes no difference. for the most part people don't listen to me. i'm the bartender. unless you want something i am virtually invisible. i have learned to suppress my ego (most of the time) in a public situation but i have also learned to pay attention and read people. each person communicates differently
i like to think i try to reach people on their own level rather than coming at them from my brain. when i do that they very often have a slightly confused grin on their face. but when i truly listen and empathize with them, it makes a difference to them and maybe that's why i'm here
i don't know if most bartenders are like this but after i get off work i am as emotionally as well as mentally and physically tired.
Monday, December 21, 2015
policing my area
i realized tonight as i was pulling in the driveway that i did not "police my area" aka clean up after myself. it's been along long three days. it's been a long week. the bar is clean but my empty drink glass, an empty bottle of water, and a pack of cigarettes are probably sitting on the bar.
we got a new alarm system at work and it freaks me out. the other night when i left, i followed my procedure and went out the door and all hell breaks loose. i have to run around the outside of the bar while i am calling my boss, find my keys so i can unlock the back door while she is telling me how to turn off the alarm. finally done. i set it again and go out the "right" door which makes no sense cuz there is no camera on that parking area. and i leave late. like 330.
so tonight i finally got everything done and had a drink and went to the bathroom. i had it in my head everything i had to do before i left but then i started worrying about the alarm in the bathroom so as soon as i came out i packed up and loaded up and left after setting the alarm instead of making sure i cleaned up after myself
we got a new alarm system at work and it freaks me out. the other night when i left, i followed my procedure and went out the door and all hell breaks loose. i have to run around the outside of the bar while i am calling my boss, find my keys so i can unlock the back door while she is telling me how to turn off the alarm. finally done. i set it again and go out the "right" door which makes no sense cuz there is no camera on that parking area. and i leave late. like 330.
so tonight i finally got everything done and had a drink and went to the bathroom. i had it in my head everything i had to do before i left but then i started worrying about the alarm in the bathroom so as soon as i came out i packed up and loaded up and left after setting the alarm instead of making sure i cleaned up after myself
Friday, December 18, 2015
long night
cereally? we got a new alarm at work when i was off two days. i thought i asked all the right questions to make sure i set it right. apparently i am the only one that goes out the front door and they didn't put that on delay! i am trying to call my boss, i can't remember her home number. i am trying to find my keys in my pocket and the one to the back door. at 3:15 in the morning.
finally, about the same time i remember the phone number, i find the key so when they are telling me the code i am actually walking in the back door and immediately punch it off.
this has been a totally weird night anyway. and i have to do our whole christmas party prep tomorrow too cuz i helped out somewhere else on my days off. they needed it and i was glad to do it. but dammit i ain't as young as i once was. i work long, physical, mental, and sometimes emotional hours. at the end of the night when you don't want to do anything else and just want to be done and you still got chores is the worst.
this is the funny part. when i finally got the alarm fixed and locked up again, i walked around front to get in my car. who was standing there? the man with a drug dog! i know i'm carrying, the dog knows i'm carrying (the dog was practically doing flips) but of course i talk to the dog first. thank goodness i had enough sense not to try and pet him! me and the cop are both tired and i am old and look innocent. we talk for a minute. it's all good. i get in my car as another cop pulls up.
wth? i couldn't see his face but we hollered at each other and i might have known him. it was all good. then, when i started to pull out, a third cop showed up! at this point i just want to be home. i started my car, drove around back and checked the doors. and drove off. left two of them talking. one of them followed me to the turn and that was all. thank goodness!
finally, about the same time i remember the phone number, i find the key so when they are telling me the code i am actually walking in the back door and immediately punch it off.
this has been a totally weird night anyway. and i have to do our whole christmas party prep tomorrow too cuz i helped out somewhere else on my days off. they needed it and i was glad to do it. but dammit i ain't as young as i once was. i work long, physical, mental, and sometimes emotional hours. at the end of the night when you don't want to do anything else and just want to be done and you still got chores is the worst.
this is the funny part. when i finally got the alarm fixed and locked up again, i walked around front to get in my car. who was standing there? the man with a drug dog! i know i'm carrying, the dog knows i'm carrying (the dog was practically doing flips) but of course i talk to the dog first. thank goodness i had enough sense not to try and pet him! me and the cop are both tired and i am old and look innocent. we talk for a minute. it's all good. i get in my car as another cop pulls up.
wth? i couldn't see his face but we hollered at each other and i might have known him. it was all good. then, when i started to pull out, a third cop showed up! at this point i just want to be home. i started my car, drove around back and checked the doors. and drove off. left two of them talking. one of them followed me to the turn and that was all. thank goodness!
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
friendsgiving
i just spent a special day with some special friends cooking a delicious holiday meal. and i am here to tell you it's all good food. but the fellowship that we shared was the best. that food was cooked with love and laughter. a true friendsgiving tradition.
i first heard about friendsgiving seveal years ago and have since shared a few. it originates i think with people that are displaced and not home with their families for whatever reason for the holidays. a group of people gather for whatever reason and they cook and share stories and memories from diverse walks of life. a friend of mine has a saying, "everyone has a story". it's true. and we don't know what theirs is, just like they don't know ours.
haven't slept much or eaten much in the last couple of days. i'm about to remedy that. sometimes i think it's just hard-headedness and the grace of God that keeps me going.
i first heard about friendsgiving seveal years ago and have since shared a few. it originates i think with people that are displaced and not home with their families for whatever reason for the holidays. a group of people gather for whatever reason and they cook and share stories and memories from diverse walks of life. a friend of mine has a saying, "everyone has a story". it's true. and we don't know what theirs is, just like they don't know ours.
haven't slept much or eaten much in the last couple of days. i'm about to remedy that. sometimes i think it's just hard-headedness and the grace of God that keeps me going.
king julian
okay, due to extra work, my procrastination, life changes, and fear of the unknown, i haven't posted in months! i think i'm ready now. it's probably gonna get a little weird. are ya ready?
you know how facebook always asks what's on your mind? i can't always tell them cuz my mind doesn't work like other people's. i pretty much know i am manic depressive and ocd and adhd. once i figured it out i was good with it. i don't take meds but my mantra in life is control. not of my surroundings because i am a bartender but of myself. if people actually knew what goes through my brain i think they would be shocked.
for instance, my favorite movie is madagascar 2. i love king julian. i am king julian in my head. he's kind of a manic guy. i'm kind of a manic person. if you see me acting weird behind the bar, i am probably being king julian. having whole conversations with y'all being king julian in my brain. i ain't lyin'. and y'all don't even know. i try to look fairly normal on the outside. i know i'm weird. i can't help it.
i'm 55 years old. i do animal rescue and i have furbabies looking for their furever families. i have stories! i think i might have an epileptic cat and maybe one with diabetes. and a couple of semi-feral cats, one of which i think is autistic. i work nights so whatever time i get home, i know the kids are gonna need at least two hours to burn off all the sleeping they have been doing in the 8-10 hours i have been gone. e-v-e-r-y d-a-y!!! and food and water and litter boxes. e-v-e-r-y d-a-y! i'm sleeping on a futon in the living room. my papasan chair is a communal dog bed. i feel like i am basically living in a dog kennel. good thing i am low maintenance.
since i'm a bartender, this is the busiest time of the year for me. thanksgiving to mardi gras. i can feel myself getting manic. a couple of friends are down due to injuries so i'm picking some extra work next door. luckily i can cook, food wait, bartend, and i'm willing to do the grunt work that no one else wants to do. which is all good. but i have to make myself take each day at a time and think it through. part of me wants to go screaming down the halls. but i know the crazier i get it makes it worse on people around me. as long as i am calm, cool, collected, and in control of myself and the situation and i have my eye on the ball, the final outcome, with a smile plastered on my face and a kind word for everyone then things will be so much easier for us all and we will all feel much better when we are through. did you get all that in that run-on sentence? that's my brain. and my basic philosophy in life.
fortunately or not, i believe this is my passion. i tried to deny it for years. had plenty of straight jobs. office and advertising management, accounting, trained plenty of people and i'm a pretty good shade tree mechanic. but i always come back to this. is it a gift or a curse? i dunno.
my fingers are getting wonky and tomorrow is going to be a long one. it starts in a couple of hours. i could not go to sleep and drink all night but that's where the crazy comes in.
you know how facebook always asks what's on your mind? i can't always tell them cuz my mind doesn't work like other people's. i pretty much know i am manic depressive and ocd and adhd. once i figured it out i was good with it. i don't take meds but my mantra in life is control. not of my surroundings because i am a bartender but of myself. if people actually knew what goes through my brain i think they would be shocked.
for instance, my favorite movie is madagascar 2. i love king julian. i am king julian in my head. he's kind of a manic guy. i'm kind of a manic person. if you see me acting weird behind the bar, i am probably being king julian. having whole conversations with y'all being king julian in my brain. i ain't lyin'. and y'all don't even know. i try to look fairly normal on the outside. i know i'm weird. i can't help it.
i'm 55 years old. i do animal rescue and i have furbabies looking for their furever families. i have stories! i think i might have an epileptic cat and maybe one with diabetes. and a couple of semi-feral cats, one of which i think is autistic. i work nights so whatever time i get home, i know the kids are gonna need at least two hours to burn off all the sleeping they have been doing in the 8-10 hours i have been gone. e-v-e-r-y d-a-y!!! and food and water and litter boxes. e-v-e-r-y d-a-y! i'm sleeping on a futon in the living room. my papasan chair is a communal dog bed. i feel like i am basically living in a dog kennel. good thing i am low maintenance.
since i'm a bartender, this is the busiest time of the year for me. thanksgiving to mardi gras. i can feel myself getting manic. a couple of friends are down due to injuries so i'm picking some extra work next door. luckily i can cook, food wait, bartend, and i'm willing to do the grunt work that no one else wants to do. which is all good. but i have to make myself take each day at a time and think it through. part of me wants to go screaming down the halls. but i know the crazier i get it makes it worse on people around me. as long as i am calm, cool, collected, and in control of myself and the situation and i have my eye on the ball, the final outcome, with a smile plastered on my face and a kind word for everyone then things will be so much easier for us all and we will all feel much better when we are through. did you get all that in that run-on sentence? that's my brain. and my basic philosophy in life.
fortunately or not, i believe this is my passion. i tried to deny it for years. had plenty of straight jobs. office and advertising management, accounting, trained plenty of people and i'm a pretty good shade tree mechanic. but i always come back to this. is it a gift or a curse? i dunno.
my fingers are getting wonky and tomorrow is going to be a long one. it starts in a couple of hours. i could not go to sleep and drink all night but that's where the crazy comes in.
Monday, September 28, 2015
stuff like this right here
yesterday was my birthday. the double nickel. a friend told me how to start a blog so i thought i would give myself that for my birthday. i always give me something. one year it was a hibiscus. i had it for years but then the pets and weather destroyed it poor baby. one year it was a barbeque pit cuz what self-respecting southern girl doesn't have one and know how to use it (i have 3). that reminds me of a time years ago when some of my girlfriends were learning how to bbq. that one needs to go on the list!
anyway, i was so excited about the blog i couldn't wait to get on facebook to share the new site and invite all my friends. guess what? facebook crashed! not my fault but now i can't share it!
anyway, i was so excited about the blog i couldn't wait to get on facebook to share the new site and invite all my friends. guess what? facebook crashed! not my fault but now i can't share it!
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